Friday, January 15, 2010
I miss my Hezekiah, we miss Hezekiah. The house is no longer the same with him not being here. There are so many reminders of him and each one brings fresh tears. My arms ache for my son, even my breasts cry out his name. Oh Dear God I shall not question your ways or when I start to I will fight it with all that is within me. I know your ways are best and you know better than I. But this ache is one I have never felt before and it is so very deep. I don't know how it will ever stop.
I miss rubbing my finger across his sweet little lips and cheeks, kissing his sweet chubby cheeks, and holding his precious little self in my arms. I cannot just put away my Mothering instincts, I so desire him. Oh my sweet Hezekiah, Mommy loves you! Your Daddy, H, E, S, N, E, & R love you so much as well.
I still thank the Lord for giving Hezekiah to us, we were so blessed to have such a wonderful little boy. He may have had an outward birth defect but it was overlooked by us. Hezekiah was a blessing and someday I will see it all clearly. Someday I will be with my son again, that brings comfort!