On Sunday evening we put up a Christmas tree in our living room. I watched the children as they decorated the tree and they had such fun. It was a delight to watch them and talk over each ornament. Our ornaments are mostly the hallmark kids ones that mark special years or events with lots of pictures of the children as they grow up. That is when it hit me, while pulling them out and looking at each of their baby's first christmas, first year etc... I thought of Hezekiah. I did not want to ruin the moment so I held my emotions in until all the children were in bed and then I literally collapsed in Ken's arms. It felt good to let it all out and talk about everything with Ken.

So I need to get Hezekiah a hallmark babys first christmas, but I need to make sure I don't loose my emotions as I do it. These moments are hard...