Hezekiah's red wagon

 

 We went to Hezekiah's resting place two weeks ago on a beautiful day.  We like when the weather is nice and we can hang out there for awhile.  We ended up staying for almost two hours.  The children sat and talked with us but then they ended up playing some games.  Ken and I sat and watched hand in hand as 7 of our 8 children played together.  Sometimes we talk but more than often we sit silent just knowing the ache in each others heart.

 

 While I was at SAMS I spotted this wagon and I instantly knew if Hezekiah were here I would buy it for him.  It is absolutely adorable.  As I stood there looking at it my eyes filled with tears.  My precious Hannah came over and hugged me and told me to buy it.  Without me saying she knew where my heart was.  I am so thankful for her and the blessing she is to me in so many ways.  I did buy it and everyone was thrilled with the purchase.  We all wrote a message to Hezekiah on the wagon and we took it over to his resting place.  I took the picture above as Job was playing with the wagon wheel and Ken was telling Job all about his big brother Hezekiah.

  I wish I could say it gets easier as the days and months go on but it does not.  The truth is you just learn how to deal with it a bit better.  The ache and longing never end and I think that just says how much we love our precious Hezekiah!! 

Summer days

Here are some photo's from Easter.  I figure better late than never :) The kiddo's painted some eggs and really enjoyed it.

Easter mornig we headed out to Hezekiah's resting place. Ken read some scriptures and we prayed. How we miss our boy.  We all wrote a message on an egg we left in his basket for him.  The children made homemade cards with loving messages inside.

                                                

                                             

                                                Easter buckets ready for an Easter hunt.

                                                         Ready to go find the goodies.

                                      Ken smoking meat for Mother's Day, it was delicious.

                    Another summer day of grilled food. No, Elijah did not eat all those wings :)

                                                   Summer days are great with cousins.

                                                            Grilled pizza...yummy!

                                                                    Father's Day!

                                                  Ken and his 8 precious blessings!

                                                       Father's Day dessert...yummy!!

The two best Father's in the world...my husband and my father. See Dad I told you I would post your picture on my blog )

           And many summer days spent loving our precious Job. He is growing up way to fast. These summer days are passing quickly as well.  I am cherishing each and every moment. I am so blessed!

Happy 2nd Birthday Hezekiah

 We went to Hezekiah's resting place on his 2nd birthday.  There were more emotions than usual and a sadness hung onto us all day. 

 We made a small cake and lit the candles.  We started to sing Happy Birthday but ended up crying instead.

 We each sent up a balloon.  One of the balloons got loose and went up right when we got out of the van that is why there are only 8 that you can see.

 We used Hezekiah's birthday money to purchase outfits for NILMDTS (Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep). It is an organization of photographer's who donate their time and resources to families who have a child go to Heaven. For many these are the only photograph's they have of their child and many are not prepared with clothing. We were blessed to have a NILMDTS photographer named Marci.  She will always hold a very dear place in our hearts.

A very dear family brought us the water globe with Hezekiah's name engraved on it.  It is a precious gift that we were so thankful for.  The children decided to place it on the piano beside the photo of Hezekiah we have there. Of course we wish Hezekiah was here to celebrate with us. I often imagine this little blonde haired toddler running around and captivating each of us with his sweetness. Oh how we love our son and brother! Happy Birthday buddy.

January 9th Hezekiah Day

 We celebrate Hezekiah's life every day but we have designated January 9th as Hezekiah Day.  January 9th is the day we got to bring Hezekiah home from the hospital.  It was an answered prayer and words cannot express the joy we all felt bringing our son and brother home. We cherish the memories of that day two years ago.  We decided to go to the Baltimore aquarium this year.  We really enjoyed our day.

 This is an inside picture although it appears as if the children are standing by an open bridge. There are glass walls up.

 The favorite part was the dolphins. We sat for a long time watching them swim back and forth. It worked out great because Job needed to eat and have a diaper change.  He was in the Moby wrap almost the entire day.

 Daddy and one of his girls.  Hannah and Ken are so much alike and have a great relationship. I love how they love one another.

 Esther loves dolphins so she was thrilled with the dolphin show.  She even went up by herself to ask the lady if she could pet a dolphin.  They did not allow her because of her age but we were impressed that she even asked.  We got her a stuffed dolphin for her birthday and she was thrilled.

Here we are waiting for the dolphin show to start. Can you see the anticipation in Esther's face. She was super excited.
 On the way home we stopped at Chick Fil A for the first time.  It was really good food and the service was amazing.  The only thing that could have made this better was to have our precious 2 year old Hezekiah with us. We know God's will is best and that Hezekiah is being well taken care of until we see him again. We are thankful for that hope and peace.

I am sure I could win the worst blogger award.  I find myself  busy and have just not made the time to blog.  I remember after we found out about Hezekiah and for at least 1 1/2 years after he went to be with Jesus I spent so much time on the computer.  It was often at night when I could not sleep.  I would openly write my feelings, pain, and what we were dealing with.  I also searched high and low for anyone else who had a child called home to Jesus early.  I needed to know how they were making it.  I met a few cyber friends but mostly I just read and never commented to those who wrote their hearts and pain on their blog.  I probably should have thanked them because each one blessed me in some way and gave me encouragment. 

I got an entire year of my blog printed in a book and it is really neat.  It has encouraged me to continue to blog about our daily life.  It is neat to go back and look over a year of your life, there are so many details you can forget. 

It's been a rough 2 months as we went through all our memory dates with Hezekiah.  I thought because it has been two years it would be easier.  I was wrong, the pain is just as deep and there is no way around it.  So we embraced what God has for us and did what we needed to do to make it.  We read scriptures, cried, listened to encouraging music, cried, went to his resting place and decorated, cried, and we stayed home pulling away from most things.  We know God called Hezekiah home for a reason and we trust him.  We continue to grow in our walk with the Lord as we call on him.  I am thankful for his promises and to know Hezekiah is safe and perfect with our loving saviour.