My precious Hezekiah how my heart longs for you. Life is taking a turn for the worst, perhaps reality is really setting in for me. You are gone and I will never be able to hold you nor care for you as my son. The ache that comes with that knowledge is just to much to carry. I am angry and don't understand why God did not heal you or even why he would allow such a wicked thing to happen to you. I am all alone as I struggle daily to cope with such a deep, deep hurt. Truly, I see no end.
I went to your grave this morning and took you some yellow flowers. With my hands I pulled the heaping pile of dirt away and tried to smooth it out. As I was smoothing out the dirt I cried and cried until I could cry no more. I wanted to just lay my head upon your grave and die myself!