We celebrated the birth of Jesus this week and we are thankful that God sent his son so we might have eternal life. As we celebrated there was a noticable "hole" within our family. We miss Hezekiah every day but the holidays, milestones, and family events are much harder. We wanted to include Hezekiah in our Christmas celebrations as much as we could. There were tears shed as we tried to balance our emotions with logic. Remembering Hezekiah and his life will always be a part of what we do. His life as is every other life is important and we could never forget him.
On Christmas Eve we made our gingerbread houses and Daddy made yours for you. I imagine if you were here you would have eaten more candy than what you put on your gingerbread house. Your brothers and sisters giggled and had such fun putting their houses together. We had burgers and fries for dinner and then headed to the living room to open up our stockings. Everyone started to check out what was in their stockings all at once and when they were done your and Job's stocking still sat there. Ruth emptied Job's for him and Elijah glady offered to do yours. As he took out your two little trucks, a ball, and a Thomas tears started to roll down my cheeks. Oh my son, it hurts so deeply. How my heart longs for you to be here as an earthly part of our family. I would have loved to see your eyes light up in delight as you opened your stocking and then played with your trucks, Thomas train, and ball. As I was embracing the pain within I could hear your Daddy crying across the room. Then I looked around and all your brothers and sisters had tears in their eyes. Hezekiah you are so missed and loved. As a family we talked about you again and prayed for God's continued healing for our hearts. We reminded ourselves again of God's promises and that we will see you again.
We spent the rest of the evening playing games and watching Ruth bounce off the walls per say. I know she ate way more candy than what went on her gingerbread house :)
On Christmas morning we opted to stay home from church. Your baby brother Job is still young and we did not want him catching a virus. We started opening presents and each of your siblings was so gracious and thankful. I wanted very much to buy you a present and I almost did. But logically thinking your not here so there is no point in doing so. Although hard these are the things we must accept and we trust God knowing his ways are not our ways and he knows best. We know your safe and we look forward to seeing you again soon.